


Breathe In, Breathe Out

by letliv3



Category: Naruto
Genre: ANBU - Freeform, ANBU Genma, Angst, Funeral, Gen, Genma Week 2016, Kyuubi aftermath, Mentions of Death, Mother Hen! Genma, Protective!Genma, but I like it eithre way, but here it is again, cause I just stared this account like 2 weeks ago, mentions of self loathing, so apologies if you've read it already, this is old
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-11-06
Updated: 2016-11-06
Packaged: 2018-09-15 02:36:50
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,130
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9215036
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/letliv3/pseuds/letliv3
Summary: Genma's thoughts during the Fourth's Funeral."He forced himself to look at the pictures of Minato and Kushina, look them in the eyes, and lay the flower down. The action felt like it was tearing a hole in him, the way the Fox’s claw drove a massive hole through the Fourth Hokage and his wife."





	

**Author's Note:**

> My Genma Week fic! Man I almost forgot to post it, but here you go ladies and gentlemen! This was for Genma Week Day One: Bodyguard.

Genma Shiranui wasn’t quite sure why the Fourth Hokage needed bodyguards, but he did enjoy his job. Once Minato taught Iwashi, Raido and Genma the Flying Thunder God Technique, keeping up with him was much easier. The man liked to just disappear on them, and the first few times Genma thought for sure that Kushina was going to kill them all and hide their bodies. Performing the technique took three of them, but it was worth it to keep their Hokage safe—

Well. It worked for a while. Worked until that bastard Fox cut down so many good ninja, cut down one of the greatest men Genma had ever met, and his bright spitfire of a wife.

Now, all Genma could do is stand stiff and blank faced while the Third Hokage talked about the Will of Fire and sacrifice and spoke with useless words meant to comfort. Genma didn’t listen. He couldn’t. He was a _ninja_ , they weren’t meant to show emotion, and the only way that was happening these days is if Genma shut himself off. He and the other ninja in Minato’s guard squad were suspended from missions for a week while the chaos of the attack died down. Genma was really starting to miss his ever-present senbon, but this was a funeral, so Genma chewed on his cheek instead.

And the hilarious part about this whole damned situation? Genma wasn’t even allowed to see Minato and Kushina’s newborn son. Couldn’t have any connection to him because of whose kid he was. Genma had caught wind of a constant ANBU guard on the kid though, so that was a small comfort. Maybe he could get himself assigned to that duty someday.

There was movement at the front of the dais now, and the Third had finished his speech. Row by row, one by one, ninja were following one another to place their flowers at the pictures on the memorial. Genma felt his breath catch in his throat. The finality of the situation was beginning to hit him. He couldn’t do this. Not here, not now. A sudden taste of copper in his mouth alerted Genma that he had bitten through his cheek. Glancing around hoping none of his peers would notice his spike of fear, a flash of silver caught his attention. At the front of the crowd, in standard issue funeral blacks with forehead protector slanted over scarred eye, mask pulled up over lower face, stood Kakashi Hatake.

The vacant look in Kakashi’s remaining eye scared Genma. He knew Kakashi was in ANBU, Genma was in it too after all, but the last few months Kakashi had spent his time guarding Kushina. _What a fat load of good that did any of them,_ Genma thought to himself. He shouldn’t be angry with the copy-nin though. After all, Genma couldn’t even protect one man. But he was angry. Angry with Kakashi for not doing more, angry with the Fox for devastating half the village, angry with himself for being unable to protect the one person who had trusted Genma implicitly with his life from the very beginning.

Eyes fluttering closed, Genma bit on his cheek harder, till he tasted more blood, and waited until it was his turn to step up to the memorial. _Deep breaths Genma, blank out your mind._ Each breath was measured and calm, just the way his sister taught him when he was little. She was gone now too. Ripped away from him before he even graduated from the academy. They had been at war then, so no one said anything to him past “I’m sorry” which made him want to stick them full of senbon. Okay, that train of thought was not helping, so Genma squashed it down into the void of ‘bad thoughts’ and opened his eyes.

He had been following the procession without thinking about it, and there were only a few people ahead of him.

Time to face the music. Slowly, as the ninja in front of him turned to leave, Genma stepped up to the memorial. He forced himself to look at the pictures of Minato and Kushina, look them in the eyes, and lay the flower down. The action felt like it was tearing a hole in him, the way the Fox’s claw drove a massive hole through the Fourth Hokage and his wife.

Forced himself to look into their eyes knowing that he could do nothing to help their newborn son.

Genma released his white knuckled grip on the stem of the flower, and placed it on the memorial. His aching heart screamed at him to stay, to tell Minato how sorry he was, to apologize to Kushina for not being able to protect her husband, to scream and cry until he couldn’t anymore.

But now was not the time for that, so Genma steeled himself, and turned to walk away from two of the few people he would have followed to the ends of the Earth. The rest of the procession went by in a blur, with all the other ninja and civilians finally laying down their flowers. The Third Hokage said a few more meaningless words, and the crowd began to disperse. Genma stayed rooted where he was. It was no use moving, he knew he wouldn’t be able to go anywhere or do anything on this day.

Suddenly a heavy hand landed on his shoulder, instincts screaming to flick out a poison coated senbon, to whip out a kunai, and annihilate whatever enemy touched him—

But when he turned his head, Genma’s eyes landed on spiky white hair and solemn, red rimmed eyes, and his hands stopped itching for a weapon. The Toad Sage’s eyes landed on Genma’s and the tokujo tipped his head in greeting. Turning back to the memorial, Genma let his shoulders slump ever so slightly. Jiraiya left his broad hand on Genma’s shoulder and sighed, eyes closing.

“They made their choice, and made peace with it. The best thing we can do for them is take care of their legacy. When he’s old enough, I’m going to train Naruto. He’ll be okay, he’ll be safe.” Jiraiya’s quiet voice washed over Genma like a tidal wave. Well. At least when the kid grew up he’d be well protected. That confirmed Genma’s decision, as soon as he was allowed on active duty, he was signing up for Naruto’s ANBU guard, no matter how much it hurt.

“I’ll keep an eye on the kid till then, make sure he stays out of too much trouble.” The determination in his quiet voice surprised even him, and Jiraiya sent him a sideways glance, and nodded. Removing his hand from Genma’s shoulder, Jiraiya turned to leave.

Maybe Genma could make peace with himself someday, too.


End file.
